DESSERT

The desert sun looks up at me

with its perfect skin

like a child unsullied by thoughts

and sin

 

asking for nothing after the main course

of roast and crackling

bleached bones

wrenched accompaniments

all the trimmings.

 

I have nothing to add

as my spoon of delight

moon curves around the skin

sinking in

and a final soft puff of sweetness

and loss of innocence

pulls me down.

◄ THE WORSHIPPERS

BIKERS ►

Comments

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raypool

Thu 8th Dec 2016 16:39

Thanks Stu. There is now a sort of stereo approach with this re the title and the first line; i'm glad you took it on!

Ray

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Stu Buck

Wed 7th Dec 2016 12:41

golly what a fine piece of writing. clever, philosophical and wonderfully open-ended and up for (mis)interpretation

great stuff.

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raypool

Wed 7th Dec 2016 12:01

Cheers David - you have now put this old bugger onto the horns of a dilemma and rightly so. It really was a simple dessert and likening it to a sun and the sinking down of the spoon, but as always your perceptive mind has raised the alternative, which actually might be better. I now think "desert" would set another image and expand the two simultaneously, bringing in a deeper meaning. That might be clever. I'll alter it. The idea of innocence lost must have affected you in your travels many times.

Thanks mate, hope to meet up !

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Wolfgar Miere

Tue 6th Dec 2016 23:02

Hi Ray,

I suspect this has multiple threads of thoughts and ideas bleeding through it.

I read it a few times and came up with the feeling of disappointment in life. Like everything being downhill after the first kiss. Its seems true to me that the loss of innocence is the death of true hope, all else after it bitter tasting.

Just as an exercise, replace "Dessert" with "Desert" and see how it makes you feel about the piece, it still works for me in a very powerful way.

I rumbled you were teasing with words as is your MO, when I read the opening line, you clever old bugger.

David

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