Not all important events are held in the USA. Poland excels in this particular field of endeavour.

The World Pipe Smoking Championships

The lady puffed.

While all around her coughed

and spluttered to extinction,

the lady puffed.

Poles apart,

the stained moustaches

and shrivelled lungs

sucked with the skill of decades,

and the lady puffed.

The lady puffed

patiently, persistently

she puffed with Grace

until Grace expired,

but still,

the lady puffed.

From Pole position

the wizened leader

extracted his smouldering

glow from every

tobacco strand

in his perfect pipe

then dimmed to nothingness

and the lady puffed.

Wheezing wannabees

wilted with weary

wistfulness as their

tar clogged clays

tumbled cold

from their shrivelled lips,

while the lady puffed.

Minutes passed,

bowls emptied,

ash cooled,

suckers ceased,

the lady puffed.

Hours went by.

Judges fainted in admiration.

Seasoned and fancied

contestants were Poleaxed.

The lady wins.