I knew from the start 

not to leave the house

the snow was falling 

and the wind was howling

 

I knew after a while 

I was going too fast

while flying around a corner

I tried to let off the gas

 

I knew at that moment 

that there would be pain

I thought of the physical stuff

not the pain that would make me go insane

 

I knew when it hit me 

that it really hurt

but everything faded black as I was flung to the curb

when the lights came flooding back in I heard a cry only to find out it was not mine

 

I knew at that second 

with blood streaked down her face 

I broke my most important problem 

I didn't keep my baby safe

 

I know now

that if there ever is a next time 

I would think of others before me

because now I am here without her and it is driving me insane