There's a quiet tick tick

Tick tock

There's a quiet sound of cars in the distance

The air is warm but there's a slight breeze through the window that is refreshingly cooling 

I can feel it on my thigh

I've got one eye closed as I squint at my phone and write this poem

Is it a poem? What is a poem? 

I feel like a fake
A plastic poet
Making it up as he goes along
Wanting to write a good poem instead of just writing ...

Anything

What's happening now?

I tried to write a poem about my Dad being a conservative, about coming from a farming family, and about doing things rather than talking about them.

I just rolled over on my couch

I don't always think about what I'm doing
I like to think I'm doing something 
Sometimes I'm just trying to do the right thing
Sometimes I'm just trying to be seen to do the right thing
Sometimes I just want to indulge myself in the profits of my labour

Money

I'm skint
I'm not skint
I could be skint if things go a certain way in the near future
I'm scared of being skint
But I don't want to go back to doing the things that I was doing
I don't want to be dragged down again
Sucked in again
Institutionalised 
I don't want to trust people and then get screwed over
I want to be free
To make my own decisions
And walk away if I don't like it

I wonder if Adele will call
I like Adele
She reminded me of my good points again
After Paula
Letting go
It scares me a bit to think whether I actually would have killed myself back then
No matter now - it seems so long ago
When I needed someone to make me feel good
It's inly been about six months
It's not long
I've changed a lot
I hope that it's for the best
At least I don't cry every day I'm without my kids now
At least Adele is my friend 
Do I wish she was my girlfriend?
Or do I just like being respected and liked?

I like being liked
I think that's why I write
It's probably why I'm setting up my charity
It's definitely why I post what I'm doing on Facebook 

I'm tired now
This poem is getting too long for the 3 mins
Is it a poem?
God knows
I need to sleep xxx

Tick 

Tock

Buzzzzzzzz...zzz..