He is a real live diamond geezer

Who goes by the name of Ebenezer

He was on an Italian trip to Pisa

Where he met a beautiful girl called Liza

She was as crunchy as a malteser

Sat there drinking a Bacardi breezer

He really wants to please her

But she is a great big teaser

Every single time he sees her

He goes very week at the kneesa

She is definitely no mother teresa

He is so excited and really needs her

Can’t wait to hold and squeeze her

She is generous and ain’t no mizer

Made him a lovely salad called Caesar

He is suffering from acute amnesia

Doesn’t remember if she’s got a visa

Can’t even see the wood from the treesa

Eventually she travels to the UK and he sees her

She says she loves him and he believes her

His heart is pounding like a geyser

He is so eager he nearly has a seizure

She said England is as cold as a freezer

So they fly away to far off Indonesia