Betrayed by the hands.

by mentalelf. Philk.

Friday 1st July 2016 9:45 am

Check the bolt

For action

Hands slip and slide

Mud and sweat

Sweat and mud

“Alright mate”

“Aye”

“Alright mate”

“Aye”

“We’ll be alright”

“Aye”

Said a thousand times

a thousand times

“Alright mate”

“Aye”

Check the bayonet

Check the bolt

Fucking hands

Shake

And sweat

Fucking hands

Shake

“Alright mate”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck

“Alright mate”

Pissed me kecks.

Its ok

Haha couldn’t

get to the bog

We’re stood in

One

Joke.

Check the bayonet

Fucking hands fucking hands

“Alright mate”

Fuck em it’ll be alright

“Did you see the first wave”

“No”

We’ll be alright

I love these men

Can’t say it

“Alright mate”

“Aye”

Whistle blows.

Comments

Various

Sun 3rd Jul 2016 11:49

Thank you so much.. EP... you have expressed it all... and its the greatest closest bond.. to be in danger and risk death with others.. and to survive.. but thats the bit that leaves men broken... not all survive...
Ian and Ray thank you so much. I'm glad you felt it.
David.. my friend... there is no greater praise then that of authenticity. And sadly I have to thank you for that.

elPintor

Sat 2nd Jul 2016 18:21

A very palpable sense of tension, here..

Anyone who has any doubts about the nature of those who choose to serve should take a close look at a bunch of new recruits with their newly shaved heads and their faces--so young. They are forced to find strength and courage they could never understand until a moment it's necessary--in situations they could only imagine.

I was looking at David's comment and it brought to mind a conversation I had with my father when I was still a teenager. I knew even then that even if you couldn't agree with a specific war or military action, there is a great love involved in risking and maybe, ultimately, giving one's life for the men and women around you.

elP

Stu Buck

Fri 1st Jul 2016 19:01

yeah very enjoyable. its vaguely farcical and reminds me a bit of the end of blackadder in its tragic take on events but shot through with a black humour.

Ian Whiteley

Fri 1st Jul 2016 18:30

graphic and uncompromising Phil - really enjoyed (? not sure that's the right word) this - the repetition and banality of the actions and speech hides a bitter and uncompromising truth - well written
Ian

raypool

Fri 1st Jul 2016 17:28

Fantastic Phil. You must have been there to write this - it feels that way at least. Even with the romance stripped away you've managed to humanize it. Great.

Ray

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Betrayed by the hands.

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