On the south shore of Blackpool all was pretty quiet

Just what you would expect in the middle of the night

It was 5 in the morning and I was still in nod city

When I heard a sound that made me feel kind of gritty

A piercing cry and a shriek that woke me with a start

Now I’m wide awake listening to my beating heart

Something is going on in the streets outside

There are flocks of seagulls with nowhere to hide

Flying in from the stormy sea and crashing waves

With hunger in their bellies and their lives to save

The noise is deafening and reminds me of a klaxon

It’s getting me as mad as an anglo-saxon

I crawl out of bed for my early morning call

The writing for me is definitely on the wall

It’s a war zone on the pavements strewn with trash

A breakfast of stale bread and takeaway mash

Bleary eyed I stumble down the littered avenue

Off to work feeling shattered tired and blue

They have done me no real long lasting harm

But my ears are still ringing from my seagull alarm