Little Roy

 

Little Roy, he’s a bit of a boy

And a lot more than a cuddly toy

He can sink more chips than Helen of Troy

And he’s got more sauce than a bottle of soy.

 

He’s got a brother called Kev, and a mother called Stella

Which helps explain why he’s a happy fella

He’s got more balls than a fortune teller

And more cards up his sleeve than Yuri Geller.

 

He’s a party gnome, and he’s always at home

Where the orange squash is flowing and he’s near to a phone

Cause he doesn’t do smarties and he doesn’t smoke crack

But he does like someone to tickle his back.

 

With his impish grin and his dimpled chin

He’s the finished article, so let him in

He won’t pee in the fish bowl, he won’t yawn in the sink

He’s a happy party pixie so give him a drink.

 

Little Roy, he’s a lot of a boy

And the girls all love him like a cuddly toy

He can wiggle his hips and do backflips

And he’s got more sauce than a bottle of soy.

 

Etc

 

Dedicated to “Chainsaw Roy” Isherwood