50 SHADES OF BLEACH

 

I want to scrub you senseless

while wearing pink rubber gloves

I want to squirt my bleach 

down your scummy u-bend

then I’ll flush your porcelain  organ clean

I want to suck the dust from your filthy, strained,

 furry, rug

I want to polish and fondle your brass knobs

until you sparkle all over my face

I want to disinfect your sticky, slutty surface

You know you want me to!

You antibacterial tease

I want to submerge your unclean dishes 

in my foamy, soapy, steamy, wet liquid

until the last baked bean slides seductively off you plate and into my orgy of bubbles

and finally,

 when your black sack is full and bulging

I won’t hesitate in recycling your trashy,

horny waste

Cos honey!

I’ve just got to have a clean house

and a dirty mind.

by Craig Maskell