You tumble home-
weaving your transient web
around my heart.
Planting silver weed at my feet,
rings of regret on my fingers.
Am I immune?
Even now I breathe you in
and my sighs ripple through the air
Could I forgive your careless neglect,
as you petition and plead with petals and perfume
and your kisses freckle my skin.
I look into your eyes
for a glimpse of what it means-
I guess it's love....of sorts.
Hi Sian,
I haven't seen you around for a while. Came late to this one. The last line is a very telling observation, I guess there are as many kinds of love as there are people. We don't always get the kind we expect - or want. Thanks for your comments on my scribbles, the are always very welcome and appreciated.
Regards,
A.E.
Simply super ... spare of word and steeped in worldliness.
A lovely poem. Yup - what is love, we'll never get to the bottom of that one. First of yours I've read, but will definitely be back.
Sian, if you see it in the eyes, it's gorra be love, and everyone who has it is lucky to have it, however imperfect and "of sorts" love might be. "Silver weeds planted at my feet" .. a lovely line. Good to see you back posting.
Back - and on form! Good stuff.
Cx
The best use of a question mark ever? Some super words here too petition,plead,petals and perfume, wonderful.
A tender and poignant poem Sian. Some lovely imagery - it works with or without tense changes. It just works.
I love this one Sian, so glad you are posting up again. I have made some tense/punctuation changes, what do you think? Of course, as ever this is only my view and I have only taken time to do this as I really like the piece, great end, left hanging - Win x
You tumble home -
Your transient web weaves around my heart.
Silver weeds planted at my feet.
Rings of regret on my fingers.
Am I immune?
Even now I breathe you in
and my sighs ripple through the air.
Could I forgive your careless neglect?
As you petition and plead with petals and perfume
and your kisses freckle my skin.
I look into your eyes
for a glimpse of what it means –
I guess it's love… of sorts?
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Jeff Dawson
Tue 11th Aug 2009 23:10
Could I forgive your careless neglect,
as you petition and plead with petals and perfume
and your kisses freckle my skin.
marvellous words Sian hope you're well, Jeff X