Look Closer!

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Love lies bleeding
Yelping incessantly 
In its predominantly 
Narcissistic 
Grief

Love
Is
Torturous in its
Truth
Love does not guarantee for-
Ever afters

Comparatively 
Unfailing, it 
Never reveals its true
Tenacity 

 

◄ Moonshadow

Foreboding ►

Comments

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Vicki Ayers

Mon 25th Jan 2016 14:00

Thanks Wolfie - I shall aim to 'trust my gut' from now on! x

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Wolfgar Miere

Mon 25th Jan 2016 10:44

Oh good Vicki,

I agree the contradiction is right, I suppose I was being cheeky and just seeing if it was deliberate, so that's good.

I think you should trust your judgment/instinct, it seems sound enough to me, although we all question our judgment, or if not we should, and always.

Sometimes it can be a little tricky having faith in the people who read your submission's, that said if they don't see your intention maybe they are not reading it closely enough, in which case its their loss.

Wolfie.

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Vicki Ayers

Mon 25th Jan 2016 08:16

Hey Wolfie - thanks for your comments - I battled with the idea of letting the reader discover the acrostic themselves & wish I'd stuck to my instinct which was to not guide - I posted it that way on my other page & enjoyed the response when people figured it out! - I'm still learning to trust my instincts! But that's what life is about eh - learning!! Yes the 1st & 3rd verse are a deliberate contradiction as I think 'Love' is contradictory - & the LLC ....... I didn't want it to be 'about' someone - more about the nature of love - but I did have a person in mind who I was referring to. Thanks again for taking the time to comment - much appreciated x

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Wolfgar Miere

Mon 25th Jan 2016 03:15

Hello Pixi,

I think the piece would have more impact if you let the reader discover the prefixed lettering without any prompting whatsoever, by removing the bracketed clue in the title, and the bold prefixing letters revealed in the capitals.

As it is there is no revelation for the reader to enjoy.

Incidentally, who is the LLC? is it a person or the nature of love itself?

The first and third verse seem to contradict each other, though this may be deliberate.

Wolfie.

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