I Was Just Thinking About You... (Blue Mosque Istanbul 12/01/16 10:40 am)

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Let us buy trinkets and souvenirs

writing postcards to those

we miss so dear...

rubbing shoulders with those

you never meet...

taking selfies, laughing out

loud...

smiling at a young man

who is standing proud


 

taking a breath...

in the cold winter air

he sees my body parts flung

through the air...


 

Let us by trinkets and souvenirs

writing postcards to those

who will miss us so dear…


 

rubbing shoulders with those...

who will turn me into meat


 


 


 

(c) David R Mellor 2016

◄ As I sit here smoking my cigarette (knowing I will never die)

Time wasted, time wasted, time wasted me ►

Comments

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David R Mellor

Fri 15th Jan 2016 19:33

Thank you Vicki for taking the time to comment , and on such a sensitive subject its reassuring that that you like the poem

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Vicki Ayers

Thu 14th Jan 2016 19:57

I echo what Stu says - so powerful - I think the length is perfect though - cut down in an instant so to speak

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David R Mellor

Wed 13th Jan 2016 22:40

thank you for your thoughtful comment Stu , was really good of . i suppose i was trying to a make an an awful event personal (human) as it could have been any of us at any given time and place . and the postcard as it were couldn't be written as it were, cut tragically short

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Stu Buck

Wed 13th Jan 2016 10:33

david this is very powerful and clever. the tapering of the verses is like a countdown to the event, and the way you have altered the lines to blur the edges works really well. it reminds me of a villanelle in the way it reuses lines (albeit altered). its excellent. this is a compliment, not a criticism, but i could of read much more. it ended too soon for me. but maybe thats the point, maybe that mirrors the theme. either way, great stuff.

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