1.

its nine thirty and i am at school and

we are outside on a warm day and

its the first time i appreciate the

shorts they make us wear because

 my legs are warm and my arms are

warm and guy taylor and me are

walking past the playground area

towards the beautiful woods that

we are warned about at the start

 of each term but we can’t resist

 because the trees look like broccoli

 and the sun shatters into a million

 tiny pins pricking the soft earth

floor because the leaves are real

 thick like fur on bone and guy and

 me don’t talk we never do we just

 walk towards the forbidden fruit our

 own garden of eden and as we near

 the woods we turn to each other and

 smile and he takes my hand and i am

 thirteen but this feels so natural that i

 could be thirty nine and i would still

be as excited and happy as i am now.

 

2.

once we are inside the woods we

have nothing to fear and the school

yard is so far away it may as well be

on the moon and the cries and shouts

 of the children sound like a television

turned all the way down and we grip

each other’s hands tightly and i can

feel his palm is clammy and that makes

 me even happier because mine is too.

 

3.

its dark now and we have been here for

ten minutes just walking and touching

 and smiling and laughing and it feels

like just a second has passed but we both

know soon it will be time to go and rejoin

our classes and pretend that we are really

interested in maths and art and swimming

and learning and really all we care about is

each other and the forest and those moments

when we can stop pretending and just be who

we are among the trees and the pins and the

flashes of light so bright you can taste them

with your tongue and the smell of the earth

 and feeling of relief and i never want

to leave but then it is time to leave so we do.

 

4.

the last time i saw guy taylor was yesterday

and my teacher says i will never see him again

and if i am lucky i will be let back into school

but by god if i ever so much as touch anyone

he will throw me out and my mum is sad and

my dad is sad and i am sad because i do not

know if guy is sad and the thought of never

seeing him again makes my stomach turn

over and i didn’t even get a chance to say

goodbye or good luck or thank you or i

love you or hold him just one last time and

tell him that everything will be fine and not

to worry about who he is because he is a

walk in the fresh snow and a deep blue sky

and a night spent inside listening to the rain.