6
Alarm goes off
6.54
Sit bolt upright
Swing legs out of bed
Left foot down
Tap
Tap
Tap
Tap
Tap
Tap
Foot in slipper
Right foot down
Tap
Tap
Tap
Tap
Tap
Tap
Foot in slipper
I will fucking murder you
Walk across room
Light switch on
Light switch off
Light switch on
Light switch off
Light switch on
Light switch off
I will fucking murder you
Open door
Mum downstairs
Hear her cooking
Foot on first step
Foot back up
Foot on first step
Foot back up
Foot on first step
Foot back up
Walk downstairs
‘Morning mum’
I will kill her too
‘Morning love, how are you?’
‘Fine mum’
Do it
‘NO!’
What did you say?
‘I said no’
Do it
Pain in head
Pain in head
Have to do it
Need relief
‘Fine mum’
‘Fine mum’
‘Fine mum’
‘Fine mum’
‘Fine mum’
‘Fine mum’
Pain stops
Embrace mum
Have breakfast
Take medicine
Toast eaten
In seven bites
Seven
I will kill you for that
Ready for school
I will kill you for that
Straight on the bus
No stopping
No voice
Medicine working
Today could be the day
I walk on the cracks.
Laura Taylor
Wed 23rd Sep 2015 12:09
Ooof. As a childhood OCDer (an obsession with symmetry that took over my entire life - managed to get it somewhat under control by the age of 11) I KNOW this one. Interesting backstory, and the theme of quite a lot of poems funnily enough.