Oyster
Take this ticking grain of sand
from me.
This tiny thing,
friction, burning,
corroding my soul.
Never becoming
the pearl it promised.
Take this ticking grain of sand
before
I implode.
Deb R.J. MAy 30th 09
Comments
Absolutely superb, Deborah, very well done. The first line reminded me of a Leonard Cohen line - Take this longing from my tongue - that same sense of being stuck with a feeling that can't ever go away - for me anyway.
Cx
Hi Deborah - i can picture you reading this poem - i like it - it's succinct - I almost feel that performed it would become almost mantra-like if each line once read was read again to maximise the quiet impact of the words and their internal rhythm
steve x
<Deleted User> (6292)
Thu 4th Jun 2009 00:39
This is a simply stunning poem Deborah.
Stunning!!
Augusta.
Love this Deborah... beautifully written : )
Wed 3rd Jun 2009 13:44
Thank you for your comment on my poem, I am glad it connected. Poems are like pearls, the hurt becomes beauty for others to prize ..As yours has.
Steve Smith
<Deleted User>
Wed 3rd Jun 2009 12:34
I'm a fan of your work and glad to see you here after such a long time .
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Jeff Dawson
Mon 22nd Jun 2009 22:21
Hi Deborah wonderful stuff, says so much in such few words, I think they said this about the atom bomb, or something similar! Jeff X