Oh help me dear

The nice glasses

Are somewhere up here

Hurry, text received

‘They’re looking

Forward to

Dinner and

And becoming thinner’

 

Oh my, Oh gracious me

Look what’s

Under the storage

Box of sheets

Go on, I dare you

Put on the mask

And activate

Voice changer

Be my Darth Vader

 

Come on

You will have

To be fast

Here take the

Blue stick too

That belongs

With that

 

Wave it around

Wildly

Make it

Glow in the

Dark

Marvellous

Keep it up

What's that

Humming sound?

 

Engage the voice changer

Say ‘I am your father’

Say ‘I like sausages’

Oh one more time

Please

Oh go on, again.

Just one more and then

I’ll stop. PLEASE

 

Sing ‘Hit me with your rhythm stick’

Whilst waving your thing

Please, please stop

It’s all too much

My belly is hurting

And mascara will run

Take it off now

Before I pee

 

What do you mean

It’s stuck?

Come here

Let me give

It a pull

 

Oh fuck

Look at the

State of your hair

There you go dear

All straight

Now make your

Way down those

Stairs

 

Hurry honey

Close the hatch

I need to grab a swipe

Of mascara

And the snatch of a wipe

Then very quickly change my tights