For An Evening
the window is open
to the sound
of the water
sighing
the light
from the waning
moon
speaks softly
to the corner table
you left
a glass by
the kitchen sink
pale pink tracing
the line
where your lips
had been
Comments
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Cynthia Buell Thomas
Wed 12th Nov 2014 21:14
It is very atmospheric. May I suggest that you could drop 'the' in Lines 3 and 5. I tested it out several times and, IMO, the poem then takes another step upward to excellence. Sometimes little words are just like potholes in a smooth path.