A native American, Hawkeye the Noo

Emigrated to Scotland in '72

He loved deep fried Mars bars and the odd Irn Bru

But now he knows not what to do

 

The mountains and plains were a wonderful yardstick

As his ancestors populated desert to Arctic

But Hawkeye he settled for a wigwam in Partick

But now he knows not what to do

 

He's always been proud to call Scotland his home

Since he left the place where the buffalos' roam

Today he's unsure thanks to Alex the Gnome

For now he knows not what to do

 

"Well hullo Hawkie bhoy" was the greeting from strangers

As he felt their warm friendship, with none of the dangers

And he'd lend you his peace-pipe when Celtic played Rangers

But now he knows not what to do

 

Now he fell in love with a wee Scottish Squaw

Who lived with her partner in the wigwam next door

As he didn't have a telly he'd not seen her before

But now he knows not what to do

 

Invited one night, for some hanky-panky

She invited him in wearing only a hanky

By the light of the fire it was wee Jimmy Krankie

But now he knows not what to do

 

Word soon got out, he had nowhere to hide

Sauchiehall Street, Dalmarnock and through Kelvinside

He was last seen canoeing down the River Clyde

But now he knows not what to do

 

A referendum is something that Hawkeye don't need

He was thinking of moving to Berwick on Tweed

For if they vote 'Yes' they'll be all  "Arf their heid"

But now he knows not what to do

 

Since the dalliance with Krankie caused him to lie low

He'll visit his family if the vote goes to 'No'

He's a cousin in Bolton called 'Hangonamo'

But now he knows not what to do

 

So this is the story of Hawkeye the Noo

Holed up in Stranraer with a leaky canoe

Come on Caledonia, just what will you do?

For old Hawkeye has not got a clue

 

"Och aye the noo"!  ;)

 

 

(c) Daniel Dwyran