Alan Summers

voicemail and limes

Monday 29th March 2010 12:27 pm (first posted Monday 13th April 2009 11:04 am)

two haiku

new voicemail
I catch a second of pub sound
who are you where?

lime quarter
an ice cube collapses
over jazz

new voicemail publication credit:

British Haiku Society Journal Blithe Spirit (Sept 2001)

lime quarter publication credits:

City: Bristol Today in Poems and Pictures Paralaia 2004 ISBN: 0954811704
BBC 1 - Regional arts feature November 2003
Haiku Friends ed. Masaharu Hirata, Osaka 2003
BeWrite.net eMagazine 2003
Bristol Evening Post article//Latimer’s Diary 2002
Presence haiku magazine ISSN 1366-5367 January 2001 No.13
BroadcastLab project: Haiku with Alan Summers by Ambidextrous and Soft C (ArtsWork Bath Spa University): recorded as part of Alan’s haiku poet-in-residency at Bath Spa University 2006 - 2007 undergraduate programme with student bodies ambidextrous & Soft C
seven magazine (Bristol Evening Post) seven literature full page feature: “Three lines of simple beauty” Saturday April 29th 2006

haiku with romaji translation ►

Comments

Alan Summers

Mon 29th Mar 2010 12:23

Tips about writing a Haiku

It's an urban myth that haiku have to be 5/7/5 English-language syllables.

If you do write them that way make sure your writing is natural.

Many traffic signs in Japan are 5/7/5 but they are certainly not haiku. ;-)

Think of a haiku as two parts, one line and two lines, doesn't matter
which order.

Use a subtle clue to suggest the season e.g.

cool morning
birdsong
light on a distant cloud

Alan Summers
1. Haiku Friends Vol. 3 Ed. Masaharu Hirata Osaka, Japan (2009)
2. Birdsong - a haiku sequence Together They Stood Poetry Now 2004 ISBN
1844607852
3. Azami Haiku in English Commemorative Issue 2000
4. Modern Haiku, USA Fall, October 1999

'cool' is a clue to the season. This clue is also known as a kigo, or
season word. Cool is a clue or season word suggesting Summer.

Sometimes the season clue can be obvious and even point to a specific day
e.g.

allhallowmas...
the goblins go back
into their books

Alan Summers
1. The Haiku Calendar 2010 ISBN 978-1-903543-27-6 (November)
2. Haiku Friends 2 ed. Masaharu Hirata, Osaka Japan 2007

So remember to indicate the time of year with a seasonal clue, and that's
your one line finished.

Next is the two line part otherwise known as the 'phrase'.

I prefer to write about something I've personally experienced, as it's
also a great reminder, even years later, of what happend. e.g.

a girl’s laughter
in and out of nettlebeds
a cabbage butterfly

Alan Summers
1. Runner up Snapshot Press Millennium Haiku Calendar Competiton
2. Highly Commended 1997 Hobo Haiku International Competition, New South
Wales, Australia
3. The Redmoon Anthology 1997 ISBN 0-9657818-5-2 Redmoon Press U.S.A.
4. Haiku International, Japan May 1997

'cabbage butterfly' suggests the time around Summer, and the girl's
laughter in the nettlebeds reminds me of a wonderful time in an inner-city
farm.

Have a go yourself, it's easy, but remember to make the language sound
natural, especially if you do want to attempt 5/7/5.

Good luck!

Alan
With Words:
http://www.withwords.org.uk/what.html

Blog: http://area17.blogspot.com

Alan Summers

Tue 14th Apr 2009 11:17

Hopefully one day we'll meet up in person, and maybe do a renga or renku together.

I'm getting a report and images prepared for the renku session I helped set up with Canadian poets Marshall Hryciuk and Karen Sohne at Bath Spa Train station. We had a goodly baker's dozen of a group and spent a thoroughly enjoyable Easter Monday together!

I can highly recommend Wing Beats because every haiku is written as an experiential poem, nothing made up, and by genuine lovers of natural history.

Wing Beats: British Birds in Haiku:
www.wingbeats.co.uk

There's a foreword by The Guardian's Stephen Moss, and I know that Mark Cocker would have loved to have been involved with this project too! ;-)

<Deleted User> (5646)

Tue 14th Apr 2009 10:18

Hi Alan,
thanks again for further insight and educated response.
I will check out your site and i love the idea of wingbeats so will check that one out too.
Nice to meet you on here and look forward to reading more of your work. That's how i learn.

Janet.x

Alan Summers

Tue 14th Apr 2009 07:03

Hi Janet,

Thanks for the reply. If you check my website it gives a brief overview of the history of haiku in the West, and also an overview of what haiku is:
www.withwords.org.uk

My website also contains the results of last year's competition and winning examples.

A number of us have worked alongside practicing contemporary Japanese haiku writers for a number of years, and like the Italian sonnet, the Japanese haiku is starting to be successfully written including a number of other languages around the world.

I did check out the general discussion site but only spotted one topic which contained a humourous spoof series on haiku, which was very entertaining by the way! ;-)

If you'd like to obtain an excellent book on haiku I can suggest "The New Haiku" by Snapshot Press or their more recent anthology "Wing Beats: British Birds in Haiku" at their website:
www.wingbeats.co.uk

A lot has happened since Harold Henderson brought his book out! ;-)

all my very best,

Alan
www.withwords.org.uk

<Deleted User> (5646)

Mon 13th Apr 2009 23:39

Hi Alan,
thankyou for a quick response and detailed explanation. I'll look at the links you provide here.

There's been a number of times when attempting haiku i've had difficulty with some words pertaining to the syllable counts and invariably opted for a simpler but less effective word instead.
I checked out one of the links which the site provides and gained some insight from that but it is rather confusing and time consuming unless one has the desire to write a successful collection of them.
I've had some fun trying them out for size though. :-)

ps. you might find the topic on haiku in the discussion forum interesting. Click on the general discussion link and the list of recent topics shows up. :-)
Thanks again,
Janet.x

Alan Summers

Mon 13th Apr 2009 23:19

Hi Janet,

Thanks for asking.

I believe 5/7/5 is a misconception and a terrible red herring propagated by some Victorian gentleman which has caused an obstacle for at least two centuries.

Most published writers of English-language haiku do not use 17 English-language syllabic patterns in their haiku.

Also Basho often "broke" this pattern in the early days when haiku was unknown except in its early form of being "hokku".

First of all the Japanese language (and haiku originated in Japan) doesn't contain an alphabet in its various language systems.

Secondly, the Japanese language utlilises a word system for its grammar, not a symbol system such as the English-language system.

Thirdly, the sound unit system of the Japanese language currently uses the 'on' system of counting, which superseded the 'onji' system, and this sound unit system used regular length sound units unlike our irregular syllable length which has 'at'; 'a'; through; bough; froth' brought; etc... words which in Japanese would vary from one to four units in length.

I would beg you to read:
http://www.ahapoetry.com/keirule.htm

and Richard Gilbert's:
http://www.iyume.com/onji/onji1.html

as well as Richard Gilbert's disjunctive dragon:
http://www.iyume.com/dragonfly/DisjunctiveDragonfly.htm

I would be very interested in who has influenced you in the 17/5/7/5 system as well.

I'd like to say thanks for being positive in bringing this up by the way.

all my very best,

Alan

<Deleted User> (5646)

Mon 13th Apr 2009 22:50

Hi Alan,
please excuse my ignorance, perhaps i'm missing something. I've viewed your profile page and see you have studied English haiku.
I'm also aware that haiku is a vast subject but can you explain briefly why your haiku poems don't comply with most peoples impression that it has to include 17 syllables, usually in lines of 5,7,5 please?

Janet.x

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