TILF

They parade down the catwalk
outside of number ten
it’s David’s new TILF army
taking over from the men
cause he’s not likely to be a winner
at next years general election
and if it doesn’t work for him
well, he’ll still have the erection
as he brings some lovely ladies
into the cabinet
because the wrinkly bastards
were as bad as it could get
so here are some ideas Dave
that might add to your appeal
if you're going down the road
securing another four year deal
get some women in the cabinet
who are as determined as the lads
and it will help if they look glamorous
rather than the usual Tory cads
try a ballerina as foreign secretary
a barmaid as secretary of state
a grandmother as Chancellor
you know – someone we can’t hate
someone who the sisterhood
are bound to get straight behind
and catch those floating voters
who can’t make up their mind
litter your party politicals
with knitting, cats and flowers
and all the while you’re totting up
the accumulating powers
but here’s a thought If your so keen
to win, that you’ll even do that,
why not change your fucking policies
you spineless Tory twat.