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Wendy Cope's poem to her husband - and why she got married in the end

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A Valentine’s poem written by Wendy Cope to her husband, fellow poet Lachlan Mackinnon,  has been published by the Guardian. ‘To My Husband’ begins:  “If we were never going to die, I might / Not hug you quite so often, or as tight.” Writing in the Guardian, Cope says that now and again she and Mackinnon would “agree that we ought to get married for practical reasons, and then do nothing about it”.

She reveals that she had originally hoped to regularise their relationship with a civil partnership: “I became concerned that we didn’t have the legal rights now granted to couples … Our hopes were raised when civil partnerships were initially included in the gay marriage bill. But the government said there was ‘no call’ for them.”

She goes on to say that a year ago they “gave up and decided we’d have a wedding. By this time we’d been together for 19 years.”

In the end “it was a lovely occasion. I was in tears as I made my vows … We’re surprised to find we are even happier than we were before.” But she adds:  “Even so, I think we should have had a choice. There are heterosexual couples who want civil partnerships and I’m still on their side.”   

Cope has been known in the past for her acerbic view of men in numerous poems. She identified the “tump” (typically useless male poet), and created her alter-ego, the fictional Jason Strugnell (struggling suburban poet). She has two poems in that vein in the newly-published The Poetry of Sex anthology.

In ‘To My Husband’, she concludes: “Would I want to change things, if I could, / And make us both immortal?  Love, I would.” 

You can read the full poem here 

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Comments

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Isobel

Sat 15th Feb 2014 11:13

Agreed - I like that one - linking the love theme to our threatened sense of mortality.

jan oskar hansen

Fri 14th Feb 2014 18:47

great and feelingsome poem

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