Loose Ends

by sian howell

Thursday 19th March 2009 8:40 am (first posted Wednesday 18th March 2009 3:44 pm)

Memory scenes,

they blink and flicker.

Like spikes,

they prod and press,

threaten to break out

and gatecrash reality-

into this life carved

with cuts and slashes,

each day clawed and held in place,

each breath fought for.

Why must it be so hard?

These memories

forced upon me -

intrusive, unwanted,

not even mine.

As if sought out, cursed

and chosen to suffer,

I thrust..parry...loose ground...

...If only

I could be lifted up,

above all this,

to carry my song into the wind-

sing it out.

To be blessed,

not cursed and stung

with spite and salt.

Is it too much to ask

for a small slice of nice,

not offered through gritted teeth

and photo smile.

I want to take back - me,

or what's left of me

and start to build something strong,

leave these memories,

where they belong

with him.

Comments

Jeff Dawson

Tue 7th Apr 2009 22:38

Hi Sian, a brilliant if difficult piece (I would imagine to write - done a few myself). I felt claustrophobic reading it which I assume is the awkward trapped feeling you wanted to portray, great stuff, Jeff X

Noetic-fret!

Sat 21st Mar 2009 13:08

Tops! Very moving, enuff said.
Mike
x

Anthony Emmerson

Fri 20th Mar 2009 00:04

Hi Sian,
And firstly, thanks for your generous comment on "The Gift."
Liked this very much, there are observations that all of us will identify with here (or at least those of us who have ever cast off our armour in the cause of love.) I echo Winston's comments re favourite lines. Maybe we need to keep those hurtful memories as reminders not to repeat our mistakes, although I have to admit, the technique has never worked for me! Clever, pithy, true. Good work.
Regards,
A.E.

Graham Sherwood

Thu 19th Mar 2009 22:27

Crikey Sian, this is an awkward piece of work to get into. I understand the pain from reading it. I get the plaintive requests and the sheer anticipation of arriving somewhere better. The final statement is a flash of defiance, but sounds half-hearted? Anyway a thinking work for sure. Always good to read your work. Graham.

Steve Regan

Thu 19th Mar 2009 12:00

Hmmm, you know memories can hurt us, taint us, particulalry if they are of previous relationships. But these days, speaking personally, I find my memories are faded and indistinct. I actually miss the pain of sharp memories that used to pop up from nowhere at unfortunate times. Lovely piece, Sian, and made me remember you previous posting, banana boxes, I think it was called.

<Deleted User> (5646)

Wed 18th Mar 2009 22:22

These memories forced upon me, intrusive, unwanted. Not even mine.
Those words and the fash-back at the beginning reminded me of a time when all i wanted was to be lifted up high out of this world, and i was.
The re-discovery was very enlightening. :-)

Nice one Sian.
Janet.x

winston plowes

Wed 18th Mar 2009 20:48

From the first line this gripped me. some great words in there

Memory scenes,
they blink and flicker.
Like spikes

stung

...with spite and salt.
Is it too much to ask
for a small slice of nice

are my favouites, you seen to have changed gear with this piece.

Winston

Francine

Wed 18th Mar 2009 19:27

This is written with such candor...
one can relate to this so well...

Make these words your mantra ; )

'I want to take back - me,

or what's left of me

and start to build something strong'

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