Have you ever wondered where odd socks go?

I haven't  

I know full well they lurk beneath and behind things,

the dark places you don't stretch to without sneezing;

they float footless and foot loose round drawers

quick fix casualties of a kid's idea of tidy;

they lie, dry balled into corners of duvet covers

the ones you don't use very often

but are sure to use -

soon  after the lonely sock cull...


I do admit to wondering about the design features

of modern toasters though,

in particular - why mine has 6 browning settings,

 when level 3 burns my bread to crisp.

I wonder whether I should take it to level 6

just for the Jeremy Clarkson hell of it

- and to see if my fire alarm works...

I also wonder why my top of the range Russell and Hobbs,

can't rustle up a decent slice of toast...

though complete with reheat, frozen and bagel function,

why it fails to fit a normal sized slice of bread,

leaving one centimetre untoasted every day,

Come on Mr Dyson - use your loaf

there's a great white hole in the market

and if I'm not mistaken,

the great unwashed British public

want their bread toasted both sides,

as well as buttered!


Recently I've taken to wondering

what cretin designed my new dining table,

bought unseen off the internet

perfect size for my family and kitchen.

I wonder why the umpteen reviews I read prior to purchase

failed to warn me about the 2mm decorative groove

running its full length and breadth ;

of just what a perfect receptacle this would be for

bread crumbs, rice, salt, glitter

or whatever shit happens to fall down there.

I wonder why the table didn't come with its own compass

not the kind to help you out

when you're marooned up some mountain

nor yet the modern, post bullying awareness  one

for where would be the point in that?

no - I mean the nice sharp metal ones

you can run along a line of grime

or plunge into an offending cretin's backside.

Now I'm left wondering whether it's safe

to bathroom grout a dining room table

and why I never take advantage

of a 28 day returns guarantee?


I spend a lot of time wondering

maybe it's the poet's curse,

and sometimes  at the close of day

when all the socks are matched

the ungrouted table cleared away

when I've given and done

given and done

given and done

and that big old tired sun

has tipped its hat and gone

I look into a lonely littered sky

and wonder why

if there's a reason up above

the oh so loveable and loving

should go unloved.



◄ 52 Hertz - WOL Comp

52 Hertz - WOL Comp ►


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Ged Thompson

Sun 11th Jan 2015 23:45

I enjoyed this almost as much as your pics in the Tartan Mini Skirt, my deviance aside....

I really enjoyed this, it has a lovely light hearted pondering of those little life frustrations.

Night Love & God bless

I'm going for a wonder XXX

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barrie singleton

Fri 25th Oct 2013 11:48

"A lonely littered sky" - exquisite. Reminds me of my "cold pocked mood". Now I am paying proper attention Isobel, the trampoline metaphor (I pinched that word from Cynthia BT) was EXACTLY you! Now I reallymust post a couple that resonate with your scoks and blank refusal to seestars as any more than litter. (:o)

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Wed 17th Jul 2013 14:29

Haha,some great lines in this Isobel,love the descriptive stuff about the grroves in the dining table! Maybe the last stanza loses the pace a bit though? Still a fab perf piece!Also loved the rebellious socks floating 'footloose'! Thanks for recent comments on mine also.Much appreciated! x

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jane wilcock

Wed 3rd Jul 2013 21:47

anxiety in the household eh? Just seen this and its fab!

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Sun 23rd Jun 2013 18:58

Practical help - now that's what I need! Thanks Dave - the problem is that whatever drops down there starts to go mouldy - it's such a stupid design!

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Dave Bradley

Sun 23rd Jun 2013 18:45

Nice one Izz - I enjoyed it. Decent DIY stores will stock plastic wood in varying shades - worth a try

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Thu 20th Jun 2013 22:17

If I ever perform this it will be off paper - I only commit to memory things that I really love or feel proud of. Not that I'm ashamed of this - it's just a bit of fluff and musing - nothing more! But I'm glad we made a connection on the table groove - I'm sure you and me would both have a lot of shit that could fall down there ;) x

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Laura Taylor

Thu 20th Jun 2013 14:41

Nahhh - this is great for performing!! You can put tons of nuance and emotion into this and it'll have people proper laughing! Gwan - learn it!

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Thu 20th Jun 2013 13:51

Thanks Francine and Laura - I don't know if I'll ever perform this one - it's a bit prosy - but I'm glad you appreciated the humour in it :)

As for the ending - I think I've been a bit over inspired by the 52 hertz theme - I always belly laugh at my own jokes too ;)) xx

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Laura Taylor

Thu 20th Jun 2013 13:42

Very funny Is, until that wistful ending. Aww. You did have me laughing though, especially like the decorative groove on the table ha :D :D Look forward to see you performing this!

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Mon 17th Jun 2013 20:21

I often wonder about these things too!

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