Baking home-made bread in Birkenhead,

Cannot be justified.

I have tried.

Except in the unlikely event

If not paying rent

One has to sell the homely pride

Enticing would-be vendors to come inside.

Baking bread in Birkenhead is fun, amusing but time consuming.

The competition on this grey February day

Is Halo 3 extended play

An assault on a young boys senses.

For

I have no pretences 

Or maternal aspirations, when compiling lunch boxes, or sorting out sox's

But trying to stimulate juvenile sensations, in morning preparations  

A fairy cake or two may magically appear,

Once or twice a year.

Oh dear

The woman on Woman’s Hour is peering through the radio,

and emailing the woman in the school,

 to say this man, this fool is breaking all the rules.

That poor boys sugar intake.

We’ve found the offending cake.

The Social Worker was polite.

She said she saw the problem

But games like that might

Corrupt young minds

And obesity is a serious crime

Why don’t you try

A trip to the park

A woodland walk

Make some cards

Swim 50 yards

A trip to the movies

Experiment with smoothies.

Or maybe bake some home made bread instead.