She awoke,
And thought to find in the dawn’s smoky gloom
Her friend;
But when she touched his damp cheek
He asked, ‘Are we still in our roles?’
His shuddering breath betrayed
The cold question.
‘Yes,’ she answered kindly, ‘we are.’
But ... Oh … Oh!
The light was cruel.
cbt
Only from 'Grey Morning' which was perfect at the time of writing; but the recent James' brouhaha would now make it look like copying another writer's idea, and you know I wasn't having that. Too bad, actually.
I'm glad I read your poem before I read your comment. That's exactly what I got from your poem. I like it. You manage to convey a lot in a little. I'm really curious to know what you changed now!
Not a recent one, but still changed the title. '50 Shades...' has ruined certain words forever.
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Tommy Carroll
Sat 26th Jan 2013 14:47
Cynthia- your poem seems to question balance in a relationship
'' Are we still in our roles?’
His shuddering breath betrayed
The cold question.
‘Yes,’ she answered kindly, ‘we are.’ ''.
I see equilibrium under threat. I think short work -such as this- is, like humour, glorious in its brevity. I think you have hit a point in a precarious relationship and done it well. I have worked on this idea myself and It has inspired me to address an issue with a response. kindly Tommy