Electric Blue (for Avital)

 

 

Electric Blue, you held them fast;

calmed and healed a tribal mind,

then pulled a string so taut

it snapped,

stuck out,

sucked back,

then stole their breath

with lyrical intensity;

poured scorn on ideology -

your signs designed to blow the lies away.

 

Electric Blue, you strummed so hard

your nails wore down to fingerprints,

then plucked so sweet

the fruit you hung

above collective mouths.

Dropped dew upon

our blistered lips:

balm to soothe a song

so fierce it ripped our skin,   

re-opened wounds,

threw salt across a wall of eyes.

 

Electric Blue, she’s twice alive;

her mind flies with the doves.

Within her strings sits dissonance,

her throat is soaked in truth.

And in her eyes a fire burns,

she warms her words with it,

and sweetens Sunday afternoons

with gospel tunes, and rebel songs. 

Through scribing psalms anew for us,

she tore her tongue in two.

 

◄ Unsolicited (1968 - 2012) - on Youtube

Huami ►

Comments

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Francine

Thu 28th Feb 2013 01:20

Really love this - especially the last verse!

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Yvonne Brunton

Wed 16th Jan 2013 12:54

Wow! Amazing This is hypnotic. I love it as it is I hope you don't change it As Issy says the internal rhymes add a flowing poetic value to it.

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Laura Taylor

Wed 16th Jan 2013 09:20

Cheers Julian and Is

I wrote this quite quickly for the Bridgewater Hall competition, and for me, there's too MUCH internal rhyme, so I'm thinking of editing it. But cheers anyway :)

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Isobel

Tue 15th Jan 2013 15:26

I'd agree with Julian and Steve. You've got a nice rythm going here Laura.

I love the traditional techniques like internal rhyme - I can really hear it in this. Even though it's a contemporary poem - it sounds poetic.

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Julian (Admin)

Tue 15th Jan 2013 14:04

Wonderful words, wonderful rhythm, wonderful poem. You're cooking with gas.

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Laura Taylor

Mon 14th Jan 2013 09:35

Many thanks Mister Black

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