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God in check

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I was asked for a poem for the newsletter the churches here send out to all the houses in the town at Christmastime. This is what I gave them and they printed. I think it's reasonably good, though it could probably still be improved here and there.

I think I see defences start to crack;
this world shall hear, and see that I am right.
The pawns pass round to right the rook's attack
advancing under cover of the knight
to trap the piece of God, where he shall lose,
and all his plans shall prove themselves in vain.
You, God, who never walked in human shoes!
How can you think to judge a world of pain?
Then all is changed. He takes my form. His flesh
lies screaming on a filthy farmyard floor,
grows up, is murdered, builds the world afresh--
a king triumphant, out of check once more--
counters my every effort to disprove
and asks: what will you do with Christ? Your move.

◄ Today's the day

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Comments

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Harry O'Neill

Thu 22nd Nov 2012 00:46

Good to see folk still taking an interest in this.

Although the poet`s question is asked directly to his God it is a fair question that could be posed to anyone`s idea of God.

If one is a stout and hearty atheist then, of course, the question never arises, but bearing in mind that the majority of the world`s population do believe in God, then outside of our own scientific provincialities (and inside many of them) the question has surely a great deal of relevance.

This question - and the other one...how possibly can an omnipotent being like God actually suffer? -caused the early church fathers (not to mention a few Roman Emperors) quite a few headaches in Athanasius` time.

If the poem ended at line eight, then it would not be a question...but an accusation.

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Yvonne Brunton

Wed 21st Nov 2012 23:36

So-o-o-o-o good! Love it.

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Isobel

Mon 19th Nov 2012 14:22

I like this. I like this a lot. It's clever - I was unaware of it's Iambic/sonnet structure till I read Harry's comment because I was so wrapped up in the ideas. So often it's the other way round - the structure becomes a hindrance rather than a blessing.

Whether or not you think the piece should have ended on line 8 might have something to do with your religious beliefs. Like Harry, I appreciated the two halves - the one answering the questions raised in the other. It is of course a very personal expression of faith and belief - that doesn't stop me from enjoying it though.

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John Coopey

Mon 19th Nov 2012 12:43

Top bombing, Thomas.
I agree with Harry - elegant "turn".

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Harry O'Neill

Mon 19th Nov 2012 00:20


Thomas,
Intriguingly strategical use of the sonnet form to let lines nine, ten and eleven answer the question you pose in lines seven and eight...how one half answers the other, and the last two lines invite comment on the point you have demonstrated, particularly the last two words.

An excellent example of a `game play` sonnet aimed at the intelligence.

You don`t get this `brain` stuff very often.

Enjoyed.

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 18th Nov 2012 22:52

Thomas I thought the first eight lines of this were exemplary. They could stand alone.

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