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Autumns rich mellow flavoured air
Unmasked, the trees are now bare.
Seldom do we hear the birds sing
When the Autumn leaves are falling.
Smoke trails from the burning leaves
Carried on the light cool breeze.
The scent of spiced apple days
In the suns golden haze.
The Pine towering heavenly high
Dropping fragrances on passers by.
Smell the crisp refreshing air
Wind is blowing everywhere.
The leaves scatter without sound
Gently cascading to the ground..
© Hazel
i agree
"The scent of spiced apple days"
This line truly conveys autumn mood, i never really took notice of autumn smells, but now i will. get rid of "THEY" in final stanza as it loses rhythm. this poem is very good and could be magnificent with bit of editing.
" Seldom do we hear the birds sing
When the Autumn leaves are falling."
this stanza is quite weak and degrades the otherwise powerful, atmoshperic poem. work on this stanza, strengthening it....
"The scent of spiced apple days"
A lovely, evocative line Hazel.
Regards,
A.E.
tony sheridan
Thu 25th Oct 2012 19:56
Beautiful. Take care, Tony.
Nature's present mood put perfectly into verse .Well done.
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Phillip Kelly
Wed 28th Nov 2012 23:44
an interesting turn on this poem, would be to experiment using internal rhyme, as opposed to end rhyme, see what effect that creates.