Have yourselves a jolly little Christmas poem

entry picture

If I don't get a white Christmas,

I'll turn the dial that makes it snow.

If I don't get a white Christmas,

I'll kill the switch that lights the sun,

and I'll line up those responsible,

and execute them one by one.

The Christmas elves will shit themselves

with good old Christmas Fear,

if I don’t get a white Christmas

this year.


 Peace on earth at  Christmas time.

Goodwill to all and pantomimes. And,

Frosty the snowman was a frozen lump of fun.

He was made out of snow and the children know

I’m going to blow his fucking brains out

with my automatic gun

and fire a nuclear missile into North Korea,

if I don’t get a white Christmas

this year.

◄ Human resource 36

Variation and fugue ►


Profile image


Thu 17th Dec 2009 20:25

Have you had any counseling yet? ; )

Profile image


Sat 27th Dec 2008 11:00

Thanks all. Clarissa, my poem seems to have worked, albeit belatedly; we are experiencing freezing temperatures today and everything is covered in a blanket of frost.

Profile image

clarissa mckone

Sat 27th Dec 2008 02:55

Hey Dermot, Id love to have a white christmas, its a real bummer, to never have one.Im not sure who is to blame, for no snow, in texas.Or where ever you are.Im sure the mafia may put them on a list soon, if they know your upset! hope you had a nice non white christmas!

Profile image

Paul F Blackburn

Fri 26th Dec 2008 17:43

You're too modest DG, you should be at the top of the list!

Profile image


Fri 26th Dec 2008 17:30

Thanks Janet,
But my list of people to kill doesn't actually include myself - it's such a long list that it will keep me too busy to even contemplate adding my own name to it.

Hope you had a lovely Christmas and all the best for the New Year

<Deleted User> (5646)

Wed 24th Dec 2008 23:14

Please don't hang yourself Dermot, the death poetry just wouldn't be the same without you.

Merry Christmas. Janet.x

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message