How to lose a friend

 

If we were blokes, the crime would be cancelled

with punch up and pint.

But in a Bluewater coffee shop

your PhD brain sinks too deep a shaft for my shallow poem.

The tribute of Maria Antoinette wedge wood figurine

misinterpreted not as a beauty but a bitch.

I’m a little bit offended grows like an aggressive cancer

in shoe shops as you examine brogues,

whilst I try to scratch out the evidence with blunt excuses.

Delivering you home, I feel the cold draft

as you slam the car door against me.

Months tallying your phone silence,

deterred from calling myself by the guard dog husband.

Then at Christmas a Best wishes from the family.

Now, the merest jolt triggers memories of

high heels and hats for twin birthday treats,

a phone call at 8.30 stirs false hope,

fluffy ‘cardy’  on a  clothes rail prompts Oh she would like this .

Despite heart to hearts with a new friend,

and raucous nights with another,

I find that there is no under-study for your friendship.