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Seeing Through The Rain

 

In wind fine drizzle dampens cold my face,

Wet muddy path just hinders my progress.

I trudge while gloomy grey dull skies depress,

My trust in you I did so much misplace.

Those soggy blossoms hang so heavy now;

Why is it you always thought you knew best?

Intrepid bird collects for downy nest

Blonde pampas grasses high up to tall bough.

It’s not enough to say you love me true,

I need to see more substance to your words.

To raise their young I’d sooner trust the birds;

Our baby hardly recognises you.

As well for us there were no wedding bells,

Already you at times stay some place else.

◄ Double Dealings

Live And Let Live? ►

Comments

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Lynn Dye

Tue 17th Apr 2012 11:21

Thank you very much, Hazel.

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Hazel

Mon 16th Apr 2012 14:51

What a lovely sonnet Lynn, I enjoyed the read thanks.

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Lynn Dye

Thu 12th Apr 2012 22:33

Thank you Greg, yes, I do sometimes find myself going off to other places anyway in poetry!


Thank you Yvonne. I did wonder if my cold face would sound better than what I ended up with, but hey ho, had some fun with it anyway. XX

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Yvonne Brunton

Thu 12th Apr 2012 22:24

I like the way this poem progresses from feeling sorry to a feisty rally in the last two lines. This is a good rounded sonnet. I feel that some of the words had to be manipulated a little but it does not marr the enjoyment. We'll be looking for more now! XX

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Greg Freeman

Thu 12th Apr 2012 22:05

Good work, Lynn! Did you find writing it took you somewhere you didn't expect to go? I used to find that with the odd sonnet I tried.

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Lynn Dye

Thu 12th Apr 2012 20:33

Thank you Ann for your lovely comments. xx

And thank you P & S, very kind. xxx

Incidentally, it's my first attempt at what is supposed to be a sonnet. Well, I think it is anyway! :o)

<Deleted User> (6895)

Thu 12th Apr 2012 20:29

Ohhhhhhh yessss!!

More please-
&....a.s.a.p!

Pee&Hess
& more of these fer yew.xxxxxxxxx

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Ann Foxglove

Thu 12th Apr 2012 08:55

What a lovely poem Lynn, really beautiful. I think it's the best one you've ever done. IMO xx

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