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CCTV

 

CCTV - an alternative title is in the acrostic....
 
Coming around the damp corner he spotted her as the flickering
Orange glow from the street lamp glistened on her red plastic coat
Leaning back against it's post with one leg bent as her left foot 
Dragged back until just the points of her toes contacted the
Cold wet concrete which pulsated with the dual vibrations 
Of heavy rain drops and the tremulous death rattle of the lamp
Putting aside those distracting thoughts he sauntered over and spoke
'Up for it darling are you - fancy a walk round the back here'
'Love to oblige you 'andsome' spoke red coat as she took his arm and
Allowed him to steer her until they reached a dark loading dock where
The overhanging canopy afforded shelter and deep shadow exactly
In line with their intended actions - his was to exchange cash for favours 
Oddly hers included receipt of funds, amidst further plans - 'All over
Now are you darling' she asked feeling his torso judder - 'I'll have my knife back 
Then' - wiping the blade fastidiously on his smart brown coat lapels
As he slumped to his knees gazing wide mouthed up to her she cradled his chin
Lovelessly and let his dimming ears absorb their last words - 'Cold tonight innit'
Effortlessly his eyelids closed for the last time as she strolled jauntily back to her lamp
Victim number three had been so easy, they had all been happy to leave the view of the CCTV....
 
©Rhumour
March 15th 2009
 

Cold

◄ Deep Recession

Stark Distillation ►

Comments

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Dave D Poet Rhumour

Sun 26th Feb 2012 14:33

Hi Yvonne, the Acrostic was the framework for the tale - originally without the last line, with the short title CCT as an abbreviation of the acrostic words.

I will probably extend it properly in time - or maybe write a sequel. :)

Best wishes, Dave

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Yvonne Brunton

Sun 26th Feb 2012 13:47

Hi Dave, you certainly achieved that sense of detatchment. At what point did the idea for the acrostic occur?

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Dave D Poet Rhumour

Sun 26th Feb 2012 12:53

Hi Isobel - yes it is on the darker side, hehe.

Originally it was titled CCT - the extra line was added some time later to add CCTV - but with the intention of further expansion that I haven't got around to as yet. However it seemed a suitable example of my occasional deviation from rhyme. ;)

The trouble is that as I never filed such items separately from rhymers, looking them out taxes my memory somewhat, hehe. I did locate a couple more though, so I will post those soon...

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Dave D Poet Rhumour

Sun 26th Feb 2012 12:46

Hi Yvonne, thanks for commenting. I was aiming to project an air of detachment which might be appropriate for both characters - with rather differing motives of course. ;)
Best wishes, Dave

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Isobel

Sun 26th Feb 2012 11:49

Oooo - a twist in more ways than one at the end. I'm wondering if you could have got rid of those last two lines though - just to make it a perfect acrostic poem.

So this is Dave Dunn doing non rhyming poetry - I shall watch out for you on a dark night LOL!

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Yvonne Brunton

Sat 25th Feb 2012 23:31

I love stories with a macabre twist at the end!
Well done, the choice of adverbs - 'fastidioiusly', 'lovelessly', 'effortlessly', 'jauntily' are so effective.

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