I Made The Earth Uncomfortable With My Hammer

A place three fields across

From where I was living,

The resting place of a certain stone

Face first to the sun.

 

Whenever I felt the world break loose

I took my hammer from the shed

And brought it to that field where

I stood at the foot of the rock

And beat it quick at first

 

Then slow bursts with each blow

A fraction of rage evaporated.

 

I made the earth uncomfortable with my hammer

And the earth did nothing but feel sorry

For my anger.

 

As I cast no reflection in the stone.

◄ Now And Then

The Plan Of Nature ►

Comments

<Deleted User> (7212)

Fri 23rd Sep 2011 10:31

I'm sure the earth forgives you - she's big like that.

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Ray Miller

Thu 22nd Sep 2011 22:40

I often find your stuff fairly impenetrable, whilst recognising that you look as if you know what you're doing. This one I get and it's good. You ought to end on the title line, I think - the last 3 lines don't seem to add much.
And stick an "and" after bursts

Then slow bursts with each blow

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Laura Taylor

Thu 22nd Sep 2011 09:28

Wow! This is excellent, LOVE it. Such an original idea, so well executed.

Any luck with publishers yet chuck?

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