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Perfect City

Perfect City

 

Its mornings are washed in post-storm sunlight; burnishing slate roofs on sleepy-eyed homes; casting shadows on streets dusted down with a baked bread scent.

Its song is the creak and clunk of a front door that fills the world and shakes the sunrise from its slumber; each dawn a melody and rhythm for footfall to fathom.

Its expression is found beneath the weathered surface of stone, steel and spray; an answer half-heard, ever changing in prospect, or the mood of a new arrival.

Its humour burbles like the eager grumble of an engine ticking over, where impatient seconds open up as chasms making the day’s promise seem unreachable.

 

Its journey carries vessels along paths that defy compass readings to places that threaten opportunity and deliver choices.  Such sustenance can feed and poison.

Its work is methodical and to the point, pausing only for tea and chitchat about biscuits; a mannered preamble to conversation concerning holidays not yet taken.

Its talk is fuelled by mischief, like the wicked joy of a child discovering swear-words, or a playful flirtation between colleagues that’s recognised but never acted upon.

Its dusk shimmers and allows everything to fall from its grasp, save for a few precious remnants; the warming satisfaction that comes from time filled with significance.

 

Its roads pulse with traffic, viewpoints in transit keen for fresh discoveries; hot rumour of alliances; forsaken appointments and laughter that conceals teeth-gritted envy.

Its care responds to the sound of the wine glass smashing against the wall of the over-priced flat; it’s the arm around the shoulder under the railway arch where tears fall.

Its noise ricochets between buildings and down alleyways like the fade-out on a much-loved refrain, till all that’s discernible is an affectionate whisper of farewell.

Its nights give shelter and tranquillity to the lucky who have avoided its inevitable rain; heavy-eyed thoughts drift and cloud the mind into dreams of a perfect city.

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Comments

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Jeff Dawson

Sun 31st Aug 2008 21:32

Its characteristics you have described so well her. A great piece of work steve which must have taken a lot of thought, love it cheers Jeff ps I work in Manchester and you've painted it or any city for that matter brilliantly.

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Rodney Wood

Fri 29th Aug 2008 16:42

It's like a huge painting and a sucessful poem that I like very much.

<Deleted User> (4281)

Thu 28th Aug 2008 04:27

Hello, Steve

Sound like a perfect reflection of a lively city seen by eyes of a poet. You just painted the picture in this poem about the views of that city life in a specific time of the day.

Great work!

Zuzanna

Pete Crompton

Wed 27th Aug 2008 21:20

This is one of those journey poems that I always find easy to jump along and enjoy. The thing I enjoy in particular with journey poems (as I call them) is you get a refreshing break from your own world and see the journey through the writer, in this case Steve I'm taken thru oxford rd, Manchester. Sure thats not where you set it, but I know youve come from suburbia into the city and what I see in this poem is your one line observations. The repeat of 'i'ts' sets the pace. It has become the mantra throughout . Theres loads of imagery here, and I like to decipher such lines as 'vessels along paths that defy compass readings' , the trams perhaps to the 'city'
a vessel half empty perhaps, at least of bursting life. SOme people dead on arrival perhaps.

you write as though you wish to be disconnected from it, I think that your interpretation of your surroundings is as interesting as the actual observation, that's what intrigues me.

the only word I would change is 'morning'
actually no.
actually yes
no
I have no right to alter, I suppose to be pure to the author, you would need to alter the entire first verse, I just reckon that by adding mystery of the time of day it would make it fun

as mornings are normally pitch black in winter!
if you gotta get into town for 9 the latest.

'footfall to fathom' is great line a guessing game of who has got up in the house as the creak and slam a door on the day

great mini travelougue

have you tried a condensed performance version
could have an alternate mini version, punchy to hit em hard, keep this little gem Steve

xxxx

let em work out when it is......

Pete x

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