Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

Absolute filth - not for the old or infirm

entry picture

Plastic Sheets Wipe Clean

 

I can't stop chasing little old women

I'm after our neighbour at number  eleven

She says she's too old for me, an octogenarian

But she doesn't look a day over sixty-seven

 

I don't want your mumsy milfery

I want grannies, godless and wrinkelly

they're much more grateful for a bit of fun

than your average, middle-aged single mum

and they give you a proper cream tea with a home-baked scone

it only takes 3 seconds to make them... If you can

hotwire a pacemaker they're like orgasm bombs

and  you can play in their wheelchairs when the deed's been done

 

But I can't stop chasing little old women

The plastic sheets make it twice as thrilling

And I can't stop filthy dirty zimmer-zim-zimmin

With these two old girls from the local mission

 

I thought I had it made, thought I was really dead swell

Two hotties on the the go at once, thought I was doing well

But Esmee had a heart attack and down the stairs she fell

And landed upon Ethel, there's not much more to tell

 

But I can't stop chasing little old women

Not my choice, just the cards I was given

For 2 weeks now I've been seeing Miss Scrivens

Next door-but-one at number eleven

I went round one day for tea and whist

She lifted her skirt to show me her tits

I was expecting a nice quiet game of rummy

When what she wanted was some rampant cunny-she

Lingers on in my mind now still

Since she ran away with a bloke called phil

 

She thought the age gap too extreme

whence before it had not been

and I said to her, how could this be?

It was too small - phil's seventeen

◄ The Lament For Tampon Boy

Your Love ►

Comments

Captain of the Rant

Sat 27th Dec 2008 11:27

You're a sick puppy Alex... but we love ya ;)

Profile image

Jeff Dawson

Sun 17th Aug 2008 18:06

Very amusing Alex but I would stick with the nubile asians if I were you! cheers Jeff

Profile image

Richard Brooks

Tue 12th Aug 2008 16:20

hahahahhaha "She lifted up her skirt to show me her tits" I got an image young men should not get. I think lots of old people would appreiate this! p.s I hear buses are a good way to pick up old ladies, look out for the flash of a bus pass or someone saying the number of their route rather than where they are going!

Profile image

Paul F Blackburn

Sat 9th Aug 2008 17:19

But surely it is for the old and infirm ;)

<Deleted User> (5164)

Fri 8th Aug 2008 15:29

hahaha
i loved reading this
i found it hilarious

keep up the good work

sez x

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message