The Prague spring is a well known thing, but its summer burns intensely and all is overheated.

The last time I was here was long ago, and I think it was October, I’m sure it was October.

I have no elaborate plan, but the plan is elaborate enough: I really need a holiday, really need to chill

and relax and drink coffee and go to the gym, but also wild adventures with the characters I meet.

The dark uneven narrow streets that twist and confuse and delight and excite, and, that first night,

I’m assigned a room and a strange design of staircase and a girl who never goes out

catches the reception girl unawares with a glimpse of her underwear, eliciting the cutest reaction

of any I that I saw, as still looking up she says “hello?” in a voice of concern in a foreign accent.

Ack! Sorry... sorry, is anywhere but cute, but – hell – it was an ad lib and the best that I could muster,

and this as a form of ambush is a little bit arousing, but it’s just a bit of fun.

Stuff on my mind is on my mind, but it’s stuff that, rather oddly, I quite like it on my mind.

The plan forms as I walk around and I hear that all the others are nothing more than brothels

I’m not looking for a brothel and not down on exploitation, which I hear is rife round here.

Anywhere with the tagline the gates to hell can’t be all bad, and you can tell by their demeanour

that the girls are there by choice and only offer dances and anyone can moralise but I’ve seen the world,

and I have eyes and can see that this operation is actually quite wholesome.

Watching the girls on the pole, and a girl shakes my hand and introduces herself

and I tell her I’ve just arrived and might have a private dance in a while,

she smiles and three girls later I do and she persuades me for one with touching

and we play and it’s okay and nice, and I go, cheerful and horny, to the old town.

The plan is not elaborate: start in the same place each night and get there early doors,

one dance then off to town and I explain that to the girls and fair enough.

 

The following night, the plan again and then

in the old town, a guy falls down from a barstool somewhere behind me

he’s a producer for Czech TV, he’s unhurt and finds it funny,

a fair few of them are here tonight, and next thing I know glass of grappa

in front of me. And why? I’ve no idea.

Bucket after bucket of Möet champagne and it’s all free as they include me

and they’re off their heads, firing the corks at us and glasses at the wall outside randomly

and they’re trashing the place and I ask a barman what we’re celebrating,

who says “No, this is just them” and I ask what’s going on and he says you’ll see,

No, I’ve seen that way of opening champagne before, I meant what’s going on generally?

They’re unpredictable and strange and eventually I take my leave.

 

Next night the same and this one with her larger breasts finds an interesting use for my long nose

she seems amused. I am too, so that’s alright, she said she’d seen me here the previous night

the girls here seem to have decided that I’m alright, and that’s nice.

And away I go to the old town square, to see what mischief goes on there,

narrowly escaping a fairly calculated raping, I think:, Prague, I’ve always liked you,

as the memory of it slowly returns the next day and I just find it funny,

had wanted to interact with the strange characters anyway, and was fairly sure I could do that here.

 

A day passes, without the wavy furrows that weirdness ploughs,

back to the English bar, I go, as I would have done anyhow

because there’s always live music,

and Swedish Anna probably won’t show, and even if she does

how likely is it that she’ll have another go? And even if she does I don’t overly care.

And she doesn’t and doesn’t and the night is quite chilled.

 

 The next day I ride a segway round Prague and that there is really surprisingly fun,

scooting through crowds, trying not to crash into anyone.

Hey my room might be empty for my last night.

And later the plan again, but this time a girl comes over straight away,

and when I say “Only just arrived” she perches besides me and waits.

I clock an exchanged wink as we walk hand in hand

and wonder what’s going on? This is, of course, but I mean generally.

In the booth she’s immediately really intense

and that’s nice, but there’s something else

she’s properly cuddly and affectionate with it

and that just... no.  That will mess with my head, and it does.

And after she says you stay and in a while I come to you again,

And I say “Ah no, no, I’m not after that”

No, that doesn’t happen here, but we have another private dance.

And woah! This doesn’t happen and what’s going on?

My mind’s sort of screaming as she still has my hands and is pulling me towards her

even after I’ve told her the plan, and I try to look impassive as I kiss her and go.

But, my mind is now messed and fizzing and freaked and professional distance was what I had needed,

and I need to find somewhere where I can get back to the ah well whatever that’s usually me.

The English bar is a probable choice and if Swedish Anna’s there, and has that stuff with her,

now is as good as any time, but I can’t do a late one and must then get home

and I need, of all things to remember, to remember that I have a plane I must catch,

so I go to a place that I know, the Irish bar next door to the George,

and that sorts my head out and then doesn’t at all.

 

Walking home through the dark streets of old town Prague

I’m feeling abused and a little bit stressed, and what song lyrics now apply are:

evil smiles won’t change my mind,

I’m worried, and I’m not the worrying kind.

And some English quite posh blokes pass by all in suits, discussing the job, and one’s having a rant

about trivial problems like he’s so hard done by

and I...

find myself laughing.  Laughing and smiling,

the night really brightens and visibly brightens or seems like it brightens

it doesn’t of course but it does and seems real

and the world has stepped down off my shoulders just now

and the stupid neon swan looks vividly stupid

and spins on its axle as if it is winking

and everything sparkles and why does that happen?

And Prague, always liked you, I like you a lot.

But, for this, just now, somehow, it’s special.