The Rattus Lavatorious

Has habits less than glorious

You'll find it lurking in your toilet bowl

Though you look inside the midden

The rat will be be well hidden

Behind the U-bend – waiting Plop Patrol.

In many Third World Nations

Are diseases, irritations,

The tse-tse fly, mosquito and the midge;

But there's no more pained surprise

Bringing water to your eyes

Than the bite of Ratty on your Biffin' Bridge.

No doubt the bite marks prove to be

Quite difficult for you to see

Although you twist and turn yourself about;

You'll find you'll need to then enlist

A sporting best friend to assist -

Your partner needs to suck the venom out.

This task is quite laborious

Your prong will get arborious

Like hardwood, in plain pronunciation

So ladies do not shirk or shrink

Though Rattus you may wrongly think

A figment of the male imagination.