Alter Ego!

He swims like a fish or is that a brick

He’s running amok & its making me sick.

He fights like a lion & sting like a bee

He  play’s like a cat & barks up the wrong tree.

He’s confused dot com & a CD rom

He’s in regression & back on the Somme.

He’s throwing a party & putting his back out of joint

He  could dance like John Travolta but don’t see the point.

He’s like town centre traffic, He’s going nowhere fast

He’s out in the country, He’s living in the past.

He comes down hard on them, but is a big softie at heart

He scratches his balls & don’t care were he farts.

He’s the stuff dreams are made of & the nightmare from hell

He cant cook like Nigela Lawson-but she can ring his bell.

He can trap like ten men but its not his style

He chats up the ladies as they hold down the bile.

He’s running scared & holding the fort

He’s an eye for the ladies & a girl in every port.

He’s back from the dead & often paints the town red

he doesn’t  know what’s happening today

He must have got out of the wrong side of bed.

He sick up to the back teeth with it, Its holding him back

He’s judge, juror & executioner-I’m alright Jack

 

He’s a snake in the grass & the con at the door

Not the life & soul of the party

I’L get his coat you can show him the door.

He’s got the skin of a Rhino & more neck than a Giraffe

This place is killing him, he’s got to get out of this gaff.

He’s reached rock bottom & digging himself out of this hole

He’s on the loosing side again as he scores an own goal.

He’s a flash in the pan & a walk in the park

His social worker says he shouldn’t be out after dark.

He’s got eyes like piss holes in the snow

He’s got to see his doctor tomorrow but he don’t want to go.

He’s got a hangover that would’ve killed Oliver Reed

He pulls back the duvet, its wet, Oh god he must have pee’d

He’s running on empty & out of his tree

He  doesn’t  want to be any of these-

He just wants to be me!