(Our local vendor has a distinctive call I thought I should honour)

To cause no offence

We’re coached well, and hence

My compliments would never miss you

We’ve undergone training

So even when raining

We smile as we tout the “Big Issue”.

We would never swear

Nor spit in the air

But hygienically sneeze in a tissue

We’re thought the elite

Of scruffs on the street

We vendors of Selby’s “Big Issue”.

I’m the politest

The whiter than whitest

Of sellers and I often wish you

“A very Good Day”

As you wend your way

Declining to buy “The Big Issue”.

I’m always so friendly

Where ever they send me

From Mansfield to far Mogadishu

We smile at dejection

From frequent rejection

Purveying our stock of “Big Issue”.

If you’ve wandered on by

And not heard my cry

Don’t worry I might ever miss you

You’d simply conclude

I tried not to be rude

And startle you with “The Big Issue”.