The moon beam bounces off her beautiful bum
as she does what has to be done
bent outside the tent
naturally.
She sees me
and a star twinkles in her eye
to match the million in the sky,
blinding me with her light
she sends projectile loving.
That'll teach you, she says.
Aye, it's one lesson after another
from this liquid woman.
Sharp and snazzy, a great poem, full of the fertility of life and love. All the verses are great, but the last one is superb: 'liquid woman' pissing with associative ideas.
Can't think of owt worse than being in a tent with the rain pinging on the cloth, snuggled or otherwise. That brings back horrible memories of a holiday in Paignton where my ex got a fever and sweated both our bags out. It was cold and vile - I should have written a poem about it.
Heh heh - didn't notice the clever title Dave. I guess if it had been a number 2 it would have been Shi
x
<Deleted User> (9186)
Fri 6th May 2011 22:01
Nice relaxing strain - when will it rain, nice being snuggled up in a tent when the rains pinging on the cloth -
Thanks everyone. Appreciated. The clue is in the title Iz (-:
ps Was it a number 1 or 2? It kind of changes the mental image...
Doing what comes naturally - you paint a great picture Dave! I like the idea of the projectile loving and the light from her eyes/stars/moon being all mixed together.
Ha - awwww, this is lovely Dave :) Put a big smile on my face
Love is ...? Neat and effective, this, Dave. Well-aimed, you might say.
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Elaine Booth
Mon 9th May 2011 23:43
Very funny, natural, gentle and clever, Dave. X