Persecuting Pensioners plc

 

Persecuting Pensioners plc:

Our unofficial name, you see –

For actually we find it fun

To persecute most everyone –

But pensioners are best of all:

They think that we must know it all –

Whereas many a younger client might

Retaliate, put up a fight.

 

So many ways to persecute

Those old folk, and increase our loot

With forms, more forms, and even more

To stop them opening their front door –

Forms asking, oh! so courteously

For incoming funds, so we can see

How best to serve their interests, and

Give out; take with the other hand.

 

These forms are really works of art:

Set to confuse, and to impart

Such information, subtly phrased,

To make recipients truly phased

With obscure phraseology:

Wood for the trees, they cannot see –

 

Well! – that’s sufficient, now, I think:

Break time! – a biscuit and a drink –

But first, switch on the answerphone

So callers won’t feel all alone.

 

How kind we are in all we do! –

Our real name? : Inland Revenue.