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Write Angle with Mab Jones, Chichester

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Out of an audience of almost 50 people packing the room (who said January was noted for having small turnouts?), there were 20 Open Mikers including several professionals. Many poems were performed – not read. Amazing! The gig lasted longer than usual, and no one left! Another high energy evening for Write Angle, proving 'the spoken word' is becoming more popular, and is seen as clever and fun, rather than 'hard work'.

Write Angle's comic/poet, Mab Jones, in from Wales, had everyone in stitches with her unique and zany style. In black dress and long black mittens, she announced, 'I normally work the Burlesque circuit'. Then paused... 'I normally have a whip'. Everyone laughed. Mab took over the room almost instantly, proving to be a confident, gifted and talented performer. She involved the audience and even responded deftly to the odd heckler. (yes, there were one or two).

The 'off beat'' Mab, when asked why the name Mab, said 'I'm the 'Queen of Evil'. Meanwhile a Wikipedia fan discovered Queen Mab was a 17th century fairy, - who drove her chariot into noses and brains of sleeping people, compelling them to experience dreams of wish-fulfillment. Elsewhere, a midwife who helped sleepers 'give birth' to their dreams. She was also known to have brought the plague on some occasions! (was that our Mab - we wondered).

As 'Queen of Evil', she told of how she hates children - 'No maybe, baby'. And how,. 'Instead of a child, she gave birth to a poem'. Of Wales, sometimes she loves it and hates people who hate it. Other times, she hates it, and hates those who love it!'. She describes what she'd do 'if Wales was a face...' and ends with 'I'd spray it with mace'. Her endings are unexpected, 'dead pan' and said with laughter, both hers and the audience. She talks of how, in Wales, they chopped down a very old tree called 'Merlin's Oak 'so people could get to ASDA more quickly'! As Wales has very few Spoken Word Poetry groups, she said they act snooty and superior, and don't consider her a poet because she's 'comic' and writes funny stuff - but she's not concerned. She'd 'win them in a fight if she had to'.

Then, a poem on Bush, Cameron, Brown, Blair - she'd kill them, save the world. Mab also talked of wanting to write a book called Mother F..... Goose, with her version of famous nursery rhymes such as 'After Snow White left, the 7 Dwarfs went to work. Grumpy, in a contact centre...Bashful went into comedy. 'I hear his stuff is really rude'. Mab hates going to a gig with young beautiful girls in the audience. 'Somehow, you want to destroy their spirit' The audience laughed as she read 'Women grow beards and men grow breasts so men need brassieres and women, gillettes!' . She loves Pam Ayres and did a Pam-style rendition with accent - 'Oh I wish I looked after me tits'!

White Stain on a Blue Dress', depicted a 'well known incident with a former president, showing how it made people forget what was going on in Iraq. '..legs part here, or blown up there'. She spoke of Pentwin, a very rough place, where 'losers win'. Tells how she was very well educated while her father was a working class snob, who hates her 'because she can read'. In her father's voice, she did 'Working Class Heaven', and 'Working Class Hell'. Of her boyfriend Kevin, 'I have a Phd. You have an ASBO' and ended with a hastened 'the wedding date's next week. Vive la difference'!

A poem about a princess who was very beautiful but retarded, told how, having been dropped on her head, everyone slept with her. 'She never met her prince charming but made every customer feel like Prince Charming!' Mab also said she inherited three fur coats – rabbit, mink and fox – what was wrong with the furs. Her mum paid for them, skin for skin! So much wisdom hidden in humour! Mab was truly terrific! A great success with the audience! Her work is so full and captivating, and her poetry flows naturally and without effort.. Mab has a sharpness – and she keeps you guessing, where the blade will fall! A one-of-a-kind exciting performer!

Audi Maserati and his 'Dog Trio' started the evening with, 'I never get writers block. If I can't write good poetry, I write bad poetry!' He played his ukelele and sang of the 50 foot woman and her lover, no bigger than her finger. Tom Hughes, as 'The Artful Dodger', said he was there to 'show off'. 'That's what we're all here for' shouted the compere, Jake. Then came 'The Libertine' about Rasputin, lover of the Russian Queen and 'Country Oracle'. Following, Kirsty Kirkwood, a 'first timer', did 'Then I met me' and 'One Daisy', a poem with lots of self-reflection. 'Something's not right but, then, something's not right with a lot of people. So what?'

Anthony Fairweather, strong and talented performance poet, did 'Universal Cure'. Custard! Also, one about Moira Stewart, who has the secret of non-aging, as she hasn't aged in 30 years! Chris Sangster did a 'Romantic Encounter', all lovey-dovey, ending up with 'Dog and her Master'. Then, 'The Mystery Letter' - a surprise to Leah and Jake who'd sent the Christmas card with news of their cats and lives, but forgot to put the stamp on!  Peter Minshull, read poems, addressing his former alcohol problem, 'Synesthesia' and 'November Saturday, Seven Oaks'. Armando Halpern told of Theseus the mythical hero who abandoned his love as she was promised to a god.


John Meriton played guitar and sang, starting with 'Winter Song' which 'will be out of time if I don't sing it now'! Then, everyone joined in as he did 'Mr Bo Jangles' and 'Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday.' Maria Hewitt told how she loved the colours of the rainbow, but settled on black, a 'non-colour' but that holds a special light in it'. She also read of the trials and tribulations of Obama. May read of how we have no right to be in Afghanistan and Dave Knight told of tits. (no - not what you're thinking!). He read a clever poem of two birds who were rescued with a wired bra – the moral of the story being 'tits don't need training. They just need your support'.

Mike Boyd did a performance piece, 'Stepping into your heart'. Wonderfully performed and very good lines! Elliot Manley recited with reference to Stephen Fry's book, 'The Tale of Danny Wise' – a little too risque for some – but very cleverly written. Anita Fleming did 'Darkness is like a Stranger', and 'A Sunken Ship'. She finished with Lois and Superman, and their 'surreal' love affair! JeanAnne Naumczyk wondered what happened when moles tried to surface in the middle of the road. Poetry teacher and poet, Brian Evans-Jones talked about his poetry workshop, the first to be held on 5th February. He read about 'Teeth'. How they were used to protect - they kept the wrong people away and now, in love. 'I find in you, and you in me - the perfect gap'. 


The raffle sponsor was the Nags Head at Chichester.And lastly, our 15th February gig's guest star is Liz Bentley, another comic poet! See our website, 'www.petersfieldwriteangle.co.uk' for more information or call 0783 431 6040.

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