Burns Night

Macarthur parked his bicycle between two tartan vans

On Burns night in the Trossachs, 'twas the gathering of the clans


An evening of poetry, of rhymes and songs and ditties

While serving wenches strolled around with big plates of Mcvities


Someone read a poem about a scottish cat Mcavity

But mostly it was bawdy stuff of lewdness and depravity


Macintosh was soaking wet, he'd got caught in the rain

He'd come from Mull across the sea by ferry with MacBrayne


McGaskill finally made it after battling with the weather

Ignoring forecasts he relied upon his lucky heather


'To a haggis' was the toast 'You've really done us proud'

Macallan held his glass aloft then knocked back a Macleod


Mcguigan threw a punch cos someone drank Mcewan's bitter

A serving girl ducked just in time before a beer glass hit her


Macbeth pulled out a knife and someone bashed him with a chair

Whirling kilts and brawling kelts were flashing everywhere


Macmillan nursed a nasty bruise where something struck his neck

One for the road Macadam said and fell flat on the deck


While all around were losing theirs McGuiness kept his head

‘I’ve had enough,’ Mclaren said, into the night he sped.


Macrae was kippered as he called, ‘Let’s have three rousing cheers -

Happy Burns night everyone, we'll see you all next year'

Burns Night

◄ Just a Synechdoche

Natasha ►


Janet Ramsden

Thu 27th Jan 2011 11:11

I was just about to say that the Macleod reference is whiskey and you went and beat me to it Dave :-)
I read this on Tuesday and didn't have time to comment.

I love the references, too many good ones to pick out but if i had to choose one it would be the Mcavity one because it reminds me of my junior school days and my headmaster who loved reading poetry to us.x

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Dave Carr

Wed 26th Jan 2011 17:10

Macleod is a single malt whisky as is Macallan.
Thanks for comments everyone.

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Wed 26th Jan 2011 16:50

Dave - that must surely be home-made whiskey made on an illegal still.

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Jules Clare

Wed 26th Jan 2011 12:13

I lived in Scotland for 2.5 years and loved Calmac, and the Isle of Barra. I stopped in The Argyll Arms Hotel in Inverary where Rabbie wrote one of his poems on the window

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Dave Bradley

Wed 26th Jan 2011 08:30

Excellent - but what was the Macleod reference to?

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Wed 26th Jan 2011 07:45

Great poem Dave. I think I got all the references but am amazed to see a funny poem about the Scots without mention of sporran or lack of underpants! Very original - och aye. x

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Ann Foxglove

Wed 26th Jan 2011 06:37

I got some of the name references but suspect I missed a few - very clever. I love Macadam hitting the road! I think it sounds like a jolly good night - can I come next year? Ann McFoxglove.

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Elaine Booth

Tue 25th Jan 2011 22:40

Glad I followed the link to read this. What an excellent poem! Very clever & effective.

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Petrova Fairhurst

Tue 25th Jan 2011 22:11

A jolly good yarn, superb ;)

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