entry picture

Searching threw the blue lagoon,
Entering shallows were the boats are tombs,
As I entered I saw a light,
Gave me scare,
Gave me freight.

So I stood still,
In this light was an angel,
And she did fill, every emotion of my own free will,
For all these emotions a man would kill,
So I stood still.

The water was moving,
The sharks were lurking,
While I was searching,
I still stood still.

Then all of a sudden this light turned dark,
The angel in front of me turned out to be a shark,
So I turned away slowly and started to dart.

But it was to late.

My vision went clouded,
My voice sounded,
My life in front of me melted,
But then she was there.

A touch so soft,
Her voice lifts me up,
Like volcanoes erupt,
Like a knife cuts,
She was there,
Her eyes like blossoming flowers,
Her hair I gazed for hours,
A thought of devour,
Life turned sour,
Could this be my final hour?

I heard a voice call my name,
I opened my eyes oh no not again,
For that it was a dream,
A sleeping a thing I haven’t seen,
Why is it that I dream?

I hope that Ill see her again,
Thinking of her always now it constantly rains,
Ill think of her always my head it does strain.

So I’m left thinking……………….
Thinking about someone I don’t know that’s there,
Thinking of her no one else cares,
I’m left bare,
And I’m staring her out,
Can you hear my voice raise and I’m shouting it out,
Starting to ignore, starting to doubt,
I’m opening a door and I’m letting it out,
I don’t need help,
For that I can dream,
I can dream,
I can dream………………………………….

Poetry Vandle ►


Profile image


Thu 10th Feb 2011 13:48

Thanks for your comments and Rachel well it was a dream well a day dream and regards to me spelling im a creative writer not a educated one its one thing i need to sort out well thats why i prefer slaming then writing but thanks for your comment love your work and love to hear more ;)

Profile image

melanie coady

Sun 30th Jan 2011 17:44

nice!! i got lost in ur dream there anyway

Profile image

Rachel Bond

Thu 20th Jan 2011 18:10

i like this. certain lines stand out,
'entering shallows where boats were tombs.'
'and she did fill, every emotion of my own free will'
'her voice...like volcanoes erupt, like a knife cuts.'
best bit for me, 'thinking about someone i dont know [is] there. thinking of her no one else cares,
im laft bare and im staring her out.'

i like the idea of explaining the dream of someone shouting out. often we wake up from these kind of dreams and forget their significance. i like that the dreamer is aware that the angel is not really there but cant help the emotion.

criticism would be that there are a few spelling errors. im not keen on this kind of rhyming and would prefer if it focussed on the strangeness of the situation, less narrative..but just my opinion.

thinking about someone i dont know is there...friends can be shallow/transparent in life dont you think?
is it an actual dream your telling?

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message