RZHEPICKS

entry picture

 

If you are a good lad

Every child should call you dad.

                ***

I will not give up drinking

But I will go on thinking

If I should give up smoking.

                 ***

Everyone has to know,

Our life is not a show.

If you chose a husband or a wife

If you want to enjoy your life

She or he has to be your life partner

And not your life owner.

                   ***

After drinking Russian vodka

An Englishman from Yorkshire dialect

Has broken into debauchire dialect.

                    ***

After drinking whisky

Some men are so frisky,

But some are so boring,

All night snoring.

                     ***

©Larisa Rzhepishevska

January the 15th, 2011

◄ RZHEPICKS

RZHEPICKS ►

Comments

Profile image

Larisa Rzhepishevska

Sat 15th Jan 2011 16:04

Thank you so much John! You are right.

Profile image

John Aikman

Sat 15th Jan 2011 16:01

Well, it would be inaudible when spoken, so not really necessary, but on the page it becomes 'whisky' and 'frisky so the eyes (and the ears) are not distracted from the wordplay,.

It's just a thought.

Jx

Profile image

Larisa Rzhepishevska

Sat 15th Jan 2011 15:57

Thank you dear John for the comment. I can certainly leave that "e" but.... please, explain. How can it smarten up the rhyme?

Profile image

John Aikman

Sat 15th Jan 2011 15:39

As a Yorkshireman, and sometime drunk, I love your 'debauchire' wordplay.

Fab stuff.

You can leave the 'e' out of 'whisky' if you want to smarten up the rhyme?

Neat observational poem. Thank you.

Jx

Profile image

Ann Foxglove

Sat 15th Jan 2011 15:31

To me it looks like the effect of too much housework! Housework=yuk!

Profile image

Larisa Rzhepishevska

Sat 15th Jan 2011 15:25

Oh, no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just wanted to show the world of a drunker.

Profile image

Ann Foxglove

Sat 15th Jan 2011 15:19

Is that you in the photo Larissa? ;-) xx

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message