(Check out the infinitely preferable original from Gigi by Maurice Chevalier and Hermione Gingold on YouTube)

 

 

We met at nine.  We met at eight.

  

I was on time.  No, you were late

Ah yes, I remember it well.

We dined with friends.  We dined alone.

A tenor sang.  A baritone

Ah yes!  I remember it well.

I waltzed so well.  I was a hunk.

You were a wimp.  You samba’d drunk.

You were just like the Blind Date from Hell

I fought three thugs.  It was a boy.

He pinched your purse.  You stole his toy.

Ah yes!  I remember it well.

 

I was so slim.  My jeans were tight.

A belly-roll – you looked a sight!

Ah yes!  I remember it well.

I had real class. I needn’t chase.

A lady pure.  I made 4^thbase!

Ah yes!  I remember it well.

I still had class!  No “if’s” no “but’s”.

What?  Five Park Drive?  A bag of nuts?

Six tubes you had of that KY gel.

You were my first.  You’ve got a cheek!

As white as snow.  I itched for weeks!

Ah yes!  I remember it well.

 

Designer chin.  The girls would rave.

You looked a tramp, without a shave,

Ah yes!  I remember it well.

My lion’s mane?  Your greasy locks.

I smelled of musk.  And sweaty socks.

Ah yes!  I remember it well.

They called me “Stud”.  No – “Bendy Coops”

A prick of iron.  With Brewer’s Droop?

There was nothing at which you’d excel

 

Despite your faults and all your flaws

As we pass through the decades doors

I love you still, much more and more

 

Ah yes.  We remember it well.