Sports Day at the primary school
The kids were 7 and 9;
They’d been at the school for 4 or 5 years -
It seemed such a very short time.
For dads there was the Blue Ribbon event
I always gave it a bash;
The ritual humiliation of
The 70 Metres Dash.
Now bear in mind that some of these dads
Were barely in their 20s,
While Muggins here had carried his bat
And made my first half century.
I’d first run this sprint 5 years before-
I thought I’d give it a blast;
I ran like the wind from gun to tape
And made a respectable last.
Similar results in subsequent years
Elicited standing ovations;
The crowd recognised that despite getting old
There’d been no deterioration.
Year 3 I ran like a galloping mare
(The fruits of my training I reckon)
And earned for my efforts a personal best
With a time of 31 seconds.
(For training I’d run a marathon
I didn’t finish last in it, neither!
I nearly caught that pantomime horse
But outclassed the deep sea diver).
But then I devised a masterplan
To help me succeed in the task,
And at 50m I stopped for a tea
Out of my vacuum flask.
I’ve got you puzzled by this strategy -
How can I be so content?
Of course I came last in the Dad’s Open Dash
But first in the next event.