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The Pit and the Pendulum

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Another dirty one from my stable of sexual preferences, and from the Malton Festival of Erotic Literature.

 

If women saw inside men's minds,

If darkest depths they'd plumb,

Would they find in some deep hole

The Pit and Pendulum?

 

He found he had his best success

In warmer foreign climes

Or when they wore their sleeveless tops

In English summertimes.

 

That rare and chance discovery

Would never fail to rouse

His “interest”, as the whispiness

Peeped shyly through a blouse.

 

His preference was catholic

But if he could he'd pick

Some latin girl with armpit hair

Luxuriant and thick.

 

He loved the coal-black texture

Of those women from the Med,

Though his ardour always peaked at

The sweet, sweet shock of red.

 

His pleasures had been visual;

If only he could find

A woman who could bring to life

The magic of his mind.

 

He played this scene so clearly,

He focussed on foreplay,

Tracing underneath her arms

As on her back she'd lay.

 

His perfect entertainment,

The meal's aperitif;

A foretaste of what's found inside

The undergrowth beneath.

 

And drawn to musky odour were

His breath, his cheeks, his lips,

Or gently combing through the hair

Excited fingertips.

 

Despite the lure of other zones

The vision stayed the same,

Returning to this wondrous place

Drawn back like moth to flame.

 

And when containment passed beyond

Necessity to come

He introduced into the Pit

His engorged Pendulum.

If women saw inside mens' minds

What dark depths they'd plumb.

◄ Gaspers

Colliers and Kids ►

Comments

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Isobel

Sun 5th Feb 2012 11:17

Very funny :) What was I doing in December 2010 and why did I miss this gem? Mebbee I was away shaving my own...

Laura's comment made me chuckle. Perhaps the pendulum swinger is swinging the wrong way - or barking up the wrong tree - that muscly arm looks more like a bloke's to me. Or perhaps the attraction lies in the confusion?

<Deleted User> (9882)

Sun 5th Feb 2012 00:24

Class, that is John (your poem).

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Rachel Bond

Sun 5th Feb 2012 00:21

euw cannot read poem as pic as put me off

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Laura Taylor

Fri 10th Dec 2010 13:55

Yay - an ode to pit hair! *sticks left fist up and reveals pit hair* ;)

Fab stuff sir! You wouldn't wanna do that to me though, I am the master of armpit farting ;D That'd take you down (a peg or two, cackle)

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John Coopey

Thu 9th Dec 2010 22:36

My word!
This does seem to have attracted some interest very quickly.
I think I've discovered a new form of niche advertising.

<Deleted User> (6315)

Thu 9th Dec 2010 22:20

well blimey..still laughing over the arachnid species..jeeez..dunno what to say really..cept she looks as if she conditions and combs!

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Larisa Rzhepishevska

Thu 9th Dec 2010 22:10

Hi, John! I found this poem to be very interesting. Enjoyed listening to it. Liked the sound of your voice. But....as far as English is a foreign language for me I would like to know why you pronounced [if wimin soRinsaid menz maindz] Do you understand me? I mean that sound [R]

With warmest wishes,
Larisa

<Deleted User> (8672)

Thu 9th Dec 2010 20:44

Goodness gracious! We haven't passed the watershed yet. :) Very entertaining. Is that arm pit hair? Or some arachnid species that David Attenborough hasn't discovered?

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