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Friday 29th October 2010 11:55 am

You are the Summer breeze

that ruffles my hair

your kiss

rippling the length of my spine

leaving me, breathless

falling

You are the tornado

that rips up the roots of sapling trees'

then flings them up in the air

among devastated towns and cities

Charity will follow in your wake

but you will not see me there

for...

I am in tranquility

the penultimate place before peace

When you are nothing

except warm air

you may greet me there

You are the hurricane

a punch in the solar plexus

Time goes

reeling backwards

leaving me, breathless

falling

a feather from an angels wing

Comments

winston plowes

Mon 1st Nov 2010 13:08

A feather from an angels wing! brilliant stuff! Win

<Deleted User> (7164)

Sun 31st Oct 2010 18:26

Thank you all very much, your comments are more than welcome :-)

Cynthia hit the nail on the head.
I thought about doing this as a mini series but was a little unsure of the strength of each one standing alone.
Buffeted is the perfect word to feel for my intention.
Loosely, it is meant to refer to being buffeted against the evils and elements of nature, human or natural. I hope that comes through. I really struggled with the first stanza.x

Ann Foxglove

Sun 31st Oct 2010 15:28

It seems to me that there is a gentle battle going on here, between two people or entities. Gentle . . . but serious! xx

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 31st Oct 2010 14:47

Janet, this is very different. I find several poems in one. Have I said this before? IMO, following one distinct line of thought at a time is stronger; ideas can be contrasted, of course, for huge emphasis. But I found myself buffeted ... which may have been your intent.

Isobel

Fri 29th Oct 2010 23:55

I think there is a lot more going on in this poem than first meets the eye Janet.
In tranquility is a great place to be - something we should all aspire to. I like the timeless feel that runs through the poem. x

<Deleted User> (6895)

Fri 29th Oct 2010 20:16

Top poem Janet-for me personally,its worthy of many readings-a lot more in it than meets my eye-first reading-brilliant! and like vintage wine can only improve with every 'tasting'-beautiful! best wishes-Stefan-xx

Lynn Dye

Fri 29th Oct 2010 17:41

I really love this, Janet :)

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