Take A Break....Chit Chatter

Take a break chit chatter

Even one called have a natter

Headlines that stretch

The imagination

As we forage

For knowledge

Of the whole human race

And our place

In the realm of society

Take a break...chit chatter

Even one called Have a natter

"My implant exploded

Into my tipple"

I was put on life support

After swallowing my left nipple

So they re-built a new one

On the back of a mouse

Transplanted it

I couldn't leave the house

it's gone all hairy

Which is quite scarey

Now I'm aggrophobic

With a fetish for cheese

It's like somekind of f****** disease

Take a break...Chit Chatter

Even one called Have a Natter

"Our grandad ran away with a tart"

She took all his money it was plain from the start

With her high heeled boots

And  pink leotard

He hadn't a chance it was just too hard

Two hundred quid that's what she charged

For a Rheiki a shag and then a massage

She loves me he said

Just before he was found dead

Take a Break...Chit Chatter

Even one called Have a Natter

"My child is wild"

That's putting it mild

He beats his chest and bangs his head

To let me know when he wants to be fed

He's six weeks old and weighs three stone

They've put him on a diet

But he won't keep quiet

'Cos he will cry and cry and f****** cry

Until he gets his Galloways meat and potato pie

Take a Break ...Chit Chatter

Even one called Have a Natter!!!!!




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Mon 20th Sep 2010 22:10

This is a brilliant performance piece Chris - have heard you do it a couple of times and it always creases me up. I love the humour in it - you have really managed to tune in to the funny side of all the crap these magazines peddle. I remember the refrain as being Chitter Chatter - perhaps I misheard it. Am so glad you posted it. It's a shame there is no audio - this one really needs to be heard. x

<Deleted User> (7789)

Mon 20th Sep 2010 22:08

Take a Break and scoff a kit Kat while you're at it, nattering away like there's no today.

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Larisa Rzhepishevska

Mon 20th Sep 2010 19:52

Beautiful! Love your style of writing. Enjoyed reading it. With warmest wishes, Larisa

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